今天看到朋友轉寄這個,深有感觸,這是由一位Tony寫的,請先看完這個故事,裡面寫著要挑出人的缺點實在是太容易了,他說:

一位妻子永遠不要對丈夫做的事,就是低估她鼓勵的話語對丈夫的影響……

永遠不要低估!

女士們,不管你是否相信,你的丈夫既想要也需要知道你相信他。

你不能假設他知道……因為他不知道。相信我,他正和不安全的想法鬥爭着,還經常懷疑你到底怎麼看他……

你的話語有力量,能讓他提升到他自己從來沒有經歷過的水平。

上周,我正在寫我的書,在連續數小時寫作之後,我很沮喪。

不誇張地說,我想放棄……打電話給我的代理人,並告訴他我不要寫書了……永遠!我越是關注在我認為它有多麼不好的想法上,仇敵越是使用它完全地來攻擊我。

我開車回家,覺得非常失敗(在那之後我把它稱作是“荒度的一天”),接了Lucretia開始我們的約會之夜。她問我一天怎麼樣,我告訴了她我嘗試着全天寫作的可怕經歷……並且當我下班時,我認為它是可怕的!

誠實地講,我當時相當脆弱。她利用了那次機會講了一些非常及時和鼓勵的話。

真的,她只說了30秒,但她一說完,我隨即就準備再次開始寫作了。為什麼?因為我的妻子,我的新娘,這個地球上我最珍視的人,花時間鼓勵我,她相信我。

第二天早上我5點起床,開始我的寫作項目,帶著我從來沒有在寫作中經歷過的強烈…真的太棒了。

我知道,對於妻子來說,挑選出她丈夫所有“待改進的地方”是很容易,畢竟你覺得丈夫只是在做白工,而且令人懊惱,對吧?

而且妳一定認為……如果妳不告訴他的話,他怎麼能知道他在做白工?

相信我,我並不是說,在愛裡就不能講誠實或要對方修正錯誤的話,但是在講那些批評前,無論如何妳可以思考……

女士們,妳們應該永遠不要低估你鼓勵的話語對丈夫的影響。

去吧,嘗試一下,因為當一個男人感覺到被他的妻子尊重/信任時……真的會有很大的不同。


本文作者佩里·諾貝爾(Perry Noble)是新春教會( NewSpring Church)的創立者和主任牧師,這間教會分別設立在安德森、哥倫比亞、佛羅倫薩、格林維爾和南卡州。經過10年發展,每周出席這間教會的總人數達10000人左右。

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其實昨天同時好幾件事情擠在一起,放榜沒上+被揶揄+隔壁的考上,幾百根稻草壓下來,讓我一路是大哭走去坐捷運,當人傾訴完自己的苦處,最好應該是俱有同理心地安慰,或這像是這篇能夠正向積極,但是我的同學一看我第一句話就說

妳有沒有想過未來五年妳還沒考上,要去哪裡?

我說沒有,就是要考上

她說:那妳這樣很危險

............

我請她幫忙報名很遠的一個地方,並且隔兩天就要報名,報名前三天才公告,結果同學說:妳現在是不是病急亂投醫?

...........

越會使用語言,戳人越深,我氣的只能.........

後來又跟我說,她看了一本書,書中的寓言說,一個人會做事情會有兩種動機,一種是愛,基於喜愛這件事;另一種是恐懼,看完書我才明白妳是基於恐懼,怕下半輩子沒著落

...........


如果妳是我的另一半,我一定當場分手

但是有些像家人的情感,又不能分手,這樣牽扯好痛苦阿


拜託~~把握30秒內,就可以鼓舞起來一個人,尤其當對方認為你是重要的


挑選出所有待改進的地方是很容易,畢竟你覺得我只是在做白工,而且妳一定認為……一定要告訴我,但是,在講那些批評前,無論如何妳可以思考……

永遠不要低估妳鼓勵的話語對我的影響。

因為當一個人感覺到被朋友尊重/信任時……真的會有很大的不同。

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英文原文

WHAT A WIFE SHOULD NEVER DO!
A wife should NEVER underestimate her influence in regards to speaking words of encouragent to her husband…

EVER!

Ladies, believe it or not he both wants and needs to know that you believe in him.

And you cannot assume he knows it…because he doesn’t. Trust me, he wrestles with thoughts of insecurity and often wonders what you think about him…

And your words have the power to lift him to levels that he’s never experienced.

Last week I was working on my book and, after hours and hours of writing I was SO discouraged. Literally, I wanted to give up…to call my agent and tell him that I wasn’t going to write a book…EVER! And…the more I focused on my perception of how bad it was the more the enemy used that to absolutely jump all over me.

I drove home feeling very defeated after what I would refer to as “a wasted day” and picked up Lucretia for our date night! She asked how my day was and I told her of my horrible experience at attempting to write all day long…and that when I had completed my work I thought it was awful!

Honestly, I was in a pretty vulnerable position…and she took that opportunity to speak some very timely and encouraging words. Seriously, what she had to say took her about 30 seconds…but when she was done I literally was ready to start writing again. Why? Because my wife, my bride, the person I value the most on the planet took time to encourage me and believe in me. I got up the next morning at 5:00 and hit my writing project with an intensity like I’ve NEVER experienced when writing…it was awesome.

I know it is MUCH easier for a woman to pick out all of the “areas of improvement” for her husband; after all, if he would just do BLANK then he would be awesome, right? And…how in the world will he know if he is or isn’t doing BLANK if you don’t tell him. Believe me, I am NOT saying that there are not times for speaking the truth in love and for conversation focused on correction; however…

Ladies, you should NEVER underestimate your influence in regards to speaking words of encouragement to your husband.

Go ahead, try it, because when a man feels respected/believed in by his wife…it really does make a difference.

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